And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
Say, If I only could

Cologne just called, thought about not answering but it's better to have someone depending on you to call you then not having anyone call at all

Had my former best friend U. visiting yesterday - started off really nice, i went on rambling about my problems for about 2 hours untill i did the "and-how-are-you-doing"-thing and she said, well you know we wanted to get pregnant but now i have this gland-diseace and i have to wait untill the medication is working otherwise the child will be misformed.....

All i could think was, you selfish bitch, you just go on about yourself and never stop once to ask your friend how things are and even worse your "bestfriend" dont call you anymore to tell you she's sick.
That is just so sad!

Unfortunately later we got to the topic of the-ex and i tried to stop but ended up crying my eyes out - again.
She left at half past twelve and i just felt like a piece of shit and actually still do...

I'm going to the library now and i'm going to try to get my act together